if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
