Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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