Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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