if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
