SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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