I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
