I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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