sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
