Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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