Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
