Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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