I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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