I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
false alarm, still single
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
