I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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