hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
