the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
