I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
