Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Duck Duck Cougar?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
