so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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