i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
