Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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