you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
