**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
