You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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