Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
