My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
