I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
