I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
