So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
