Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
