also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
