My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
