you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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