I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
