hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
