Walk of Shame. In a state park.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
