i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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