haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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