i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
