So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
