Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
