My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
