So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
