honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize