Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
