I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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