OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
