so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
