Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
