you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
