You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
