I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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