i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
