Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
