so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
