I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize