He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
