Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize