I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
