I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
