I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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